Interlude at the Queen's Head
Open Shadow, Mid-July Amber time
We left Andrés at his place in Italy, looking out over the rolling Tuscan hills, and then turned for home. Well, Germania, anyway. I'd temporarily swapped away the uniforms in favour of something more comfortable for Shadow travel, as the weather was decidedly on the warm side, but no doubt we could find them again later when we needed them.
Andrés was definitely an interesting young man. I couldn't tell if he was a mercenary, an assassin or something in between, but it seemed like his first experiences of the Family had made their impression on him. It was just a pity that he seemed to be a dyed in the wool anti-monarchist. If he did end up getting involved, that could well lead to trouble.
Leaving him my Trump had been impulsive, but something had told me it was a risk worth taking. If he was Family - and while a Hendrake look to him didn't confirm that, it pretty much guaranteed that he was at least Cornelian - then he might need to get in touch with someone in a hurry if the hounds got on his trail. And sure, he may well never use it, but I felt better knowing he had the option.
"It was a kind thing to do," Armand said, quietly, as I made the first few shifts. It was almost the first thing he'd said since he'd agreed to accompany me to take Andrés home, and I was glad for the diversion.
It was obvious that the weight of being in Shadow was getting to him. I looked over at him, still trying to come to grips with the fact that my son was a war hero. I was so proud of him. And yet out here he was like a bird with a broken wing.
"He needs someone to call if he gets into trouble, especially if he's now on the Lynx's radar after helping you to capture Rumpel. And I'm not sure how many other people he can turn to."
"He likes bikes you know," he answered, quietly, "and skiing. And mountains. He was talking about driving way too fast through the Alps. It made me think of you."
"Do you trust him?"
"I didn't when I first met him. But once we joined forces, he did what he said he would, and went beyond what he had to do. I'm glad you got to meet him."
The statement was straightforward in itself, but I could sense the undercurrent as he said it, and remembered what Andrés had said about Armand trying to shoot him in the head. It seemed so unlike my son, and it bothered me. I decided to seek out a tavern so we could sit and have a drink, and see if he wanted to open up any more. I found a decent looking coaching inn called the Queen's Head (I didn't recognise the queen in question), probably circa late-18th century. I ordered us both a tankard of ale and a plate of pie and mash, and then we went and found a table outside in the sunshine.
"I may well go back and visit him again," I commented, "see if I can get Ian to smuggle me a full Trump deck for him. But not until everything on Germania has calmed down."
I took a pull from my tankard. Bitter, but in a good way, with a refreshing tang that suited the summer day. But still, he seemed quiet and pensive.
"What's wrong?"
"Are you angry with me, Dad?"
"Why would I be angry?"
"I wasn't sure if you were going to hit me or hug me when you saw me in the guesthouse."
"I'd never hit you, Armand. Surely you know that."
Although the moment I said it, I realised that I might have been lying to myself. I wouldn't have expected to hit Ian, either, and yet I'd broken his ribs not that long ago.
"Of course," he answered, his tone flat, "I'm sorry."
The serving wench put a pair of pewter platters on the table beside us, along with spoons to eat with, and then disappeared back inside. The food was substantial and tasty, and while not perfectly suited to the heat, it did a good job of replenishing some of the energy I'd used walking Shadow.
"I just wasn't expecting to see you," I said, quietly, "given the Lynx involvement, I hadn't wanted you anywhere near Germania. That's why I didn't call you to tell you I was going."
"And I'd never been there before anyway. So it wasn't on my patch."
"That too...we never quite made it last time. How did you end up there?"
"Artur brought me. When he and Matthew got to the Wewelsburg, they discovered the place was a combat zone. And as neither of them are particularly confident in their combat ability...actually, that isn't true, Artur is more confident than he was, but he knows his limitations...they called me."
"What happened?"
"I took over," he said, almost surprised at his own presumption, "the remaining troops needed someone to follow, and they took my lead without question. It was...frightening."
"Why frightening?"
"I was so out of my depth it isn't funny, but they did everything I asked of them. And somehow we won. We took the place back and sent them packing."
"That means you're a good leader."
"No. It was more than that...I just can't explain it. But I think if I'd ordered them into Hell, they would have done it."
"Edward did tell me that you were the best student he'd every had on the grand-strategy side."
"I'm also the only student he's ever had on the grand-strategy side," he said.
"He had me as well..." I said, with a chuckle, "but even I could see you have a flair for it that I don't. I watched you working with the troops he assigned you. You have a rare gift. You're a commander who cares about his men, but who can make them do anything he asks anyway. It was amazing to watch."
He looked up at me and gave a weak smile.
"I was proud of you today," I said, gently, "and you deserve the Knight's Cross. The only medal I ever got was the IC2C."
"And that..." he said, indicating the ring around my finger.
"That came a lot later. And it wasn't won in battle."
"You still have it. Anyway, the Knight's Cross probably only applies on Germania. And that's assuming that the Führer ratifies it once he's back. Like the promotion."
"Does that matter?"
"It's probably for the best. What the Hell would Sturmbannführer Lienert say if I came back outranking her. I'm too young to be a Colonel."
"Rubbish. In Geran's briefing room there was a sixteen year old Tank Commander. And Edward probably isn't that far apart from you in age."
"Who would bring a sixteen year old into a battle?"
"He's Dave's son. You remember Dave?"
"From Tenterden, yes. He doesn't look old enough to have a sixteen year old, or bastard enough to abuse his child like that."
I put my tankard down and looked at him.
"That's an odd choice of word."
"Well what kind of childhood can he have had if he's a Tank Commander at that age? I know Ian thinks being brought up Lebensborn is a nightmare, but at least we had a chance to be children some of the time. We weren't forced into battle at sixteen."
"There were ensigns as young as thirteen or fourteen during the Napoleonic Wars."
"And an awful lot of them died. It was also a different time. Life expectancies were shorter, and the army was a way of finding a place for younger sons so they could get two square meals a day. But that's not true now."
"A lot of younger sons still go into the military."
"But not that young."
"You've been to Ian's alternate history classes. You know that on a lot of worlds where WWII went differently to Tenterden, our people sent the Hitler Youth into battle. Most of them were only boys."
"That's because on a lot of other worlds we really aren't a very pleasant people. Hell, we're not exactly pleasant on Tenterden, either. We're tolerated as we're better than the Russians."
He fell quiet, and applied himself to his ale and pie. Watching him, I could tell that his comments about Malcolm were an excuse, rather than what was actually bothering him.
"Armand, what happened?" I said, quietly.
He ignored me, until I reached over, put a finger under his chin and gently tipped his face up towards me.
"Andrés was right. I nearly blew his head off."
I let my hand drop and waited for him to continue.
"I hate that place."
"Where? The Castle?"
He nodded. "It's so wrong."
"In what way?"
"I could feel it working on my soul. The history. The rites the Führer has done there. The longer I was there, the more I felt I was being engulfed by it, and the more I wanted to embrace it. And what's worse, Artur wasn't feeling it. He seemed almost at home there."
"Artur is one of Dieter's initiates."
"I know. I wish he wasn't. I've heard Ian talk about how bad the Thule Group are."
"And he can't exactly talk, either," I said, quietly, "both he and I have taken part in what they do. Neither of us are proud of it, but what we did was far further down the path than Artur is. I'm technically an Inner Circle initiate, and was Working in that capacity with Jericho."
"But neither you or Ian are commonly practising members. I think Artur is."
"I think he is too. But I don't think he's got his hands dirty the way Ian and I have. And I really hope he doesn't end up there."
"How do you reconcile it?"
"There are a lot of reasons why I've been in treatment with Adam. That's one of them. But Ian and I are both going to make damned sure you don't end up having to deal with it, which is why we want to bring you into the Lyminge Group."
"The silly thing is, that aside, I think working for your grandfather suits Artur. He seems more confident. More sure of what he wants in life. And he's good at what he does. At the Castle, he had a gentle air of command about him that I've never seen before. Not a military commander, but something different. He even managed to keep Matthew out of trouble, which by the sound of it is something of a miracle."
"My uncle does have a reputation," I commented, smiling but I could sense that it wasn't even Artur that was bothering him, and my smile faded away. I took a pull from my tankard, before asking: "What happened with Andrés?"
"He was torturing the enemy general. He wouldn't stop when I ordered. He wouldn't even acknowledge who he was. He threw a grenade at us - gas as it turned out, but we didn't immediately realise that - and fled. We were going to take General Obernst into custody, so we could interrogate him, but Andrés killed him. Said that was what he'd been paid to do."
I felt him hesitate in his story, but I felt it was better he said what he needed to.
"Go on," I said, gently.
"We secured the Castle, but he was still at large, so Artur and Matthew started looking for him. He found them first and tried to put them to sleep, but they managed to catch him between them. They brought him to me while they tried to deal with a fire in the West Tower library."
He paused for a moment, took a pull from his tankard and then continued.
"Eventually he woke up. He was tied, but he was moving his fingers, and I was afraid he was doing something magical. I don't know much about magic, but when Matthew does it, it seems to involve hand gestures. I tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't. He just started humming. I didn't know what the Hell he was doing, and by then with two attacks and killing Obernst, he'd proven himself a hostile in my eyes. The situation was tense. He hadn't identified himself, and I was on edge, or maybe high on adrenalin after the battle. So I put my gun to his head and I pulled the trigger."
"Oh, child," I said, quietly, as my own memories of the little girl at Eglizi came to mind unbidden, but I couldn't think what else to say.
"My gun jammed, thank Christ," he said, eventually, "There was a click, and he was still there. And my first instinct was fury. I don't know what I would have done if Matthew and Artur hadn't come back just then. I genuinely think I might have beaten his head to a pulp with the gun butt. As it was, I left him to them so they could throw him in a cell and stormed off. It wasn't until after I had time to think again, once the defences were set, that I realised what I'd done. And then I got a dose of the shakes you would not believe."
He and I sat there in silence, watching each other, and I could see the pain on his face as he remembered.
"You didn't kill him."
"It wasn't for want of trying."
"From what you've described, and given the situation, I can think of other soldiers who would have done the same thing."
"More would have held him for questioning."
"Perhaps, although if he was being un-cooperative, and you felt he was a threat, I can understand why you did it. But the Powers that Be obviously decided that you shouldn't take that step."
"You think it was fate that the gun didn't go off?"
"With Adepts? Who really knows for sure? But I'm immensely glad that you didn't end up walking the same path I did at Eglizi."
"But why? Why did I do it at all?"
"Nearly did it," I corrected, gently, "You said the Castle was eating at you. Were you warded?"
"Apparently not well enough."
"We need to work on that."
"What do you think happened?"
"You've had a difficult past, both in this life and in at least one of your previous ones. Maybe the atmosphere of the Castle triggered memories of what the Cult did to you. Or maybe they caused you to access the past life you're supposed to have had as one of their Headmasters. Either might have affected your actions."
"Turned me into a cold-blooded killer," he said, and as I did, I saw something cross his face which made me think there was something he wasn't telling me.
"Has anything like this ever happened to you before?"
"Not like this."
"But you've killed before."
"I'm a soldier. It's part of my job description.
"That's not what I mean."
I watched him, far more the uncertain child than I'd seen since his recovery from what the Lynx had done to him. And I was reminded of how, after the Pattern, he'd been rambling about it not being fair that he had to kill someone again.
"Who was Hölzer?"
He looked up at me, startled. "How do you know about him?"
"You mentioned his name after I took you to Amber."
"He was a very bad man. He raped little boys."
"Oh Christ..." I began, wondering if I could even ask the next question, but he predicted it before I said it.
"He wanted to. He threatened to. But I killed him before he could."
"But he did it to someone you know."
He looked at me, then nodded.
"Who?"
"That's not my secret to share."
"How old were you?"
"Eleven."
"Was it self-defence?"
"The first shot was self-defence. The second was murder. I took aim at him and I fired. Just like I did with Andrés. I let whatever darkness is in my soul have free rein, and if I really was a Headmaster in a previous life, there's a lot of darkness in there."
"You really aren't alone, Armand. I know what you're going through."
"How? How can you know?"
"Do you know how Dietrich von Ansbach died?"
"Your adoptive father? All I know is that he was murdered."
"I shot him between the eyes, while he was sitting drinking."
"Why did you do it?"
"He murdered my mother. And while he may not have sexually abused children, he was violent bastard who enjoyed hurting her, both in the bedroom and outside of it. I didn’t understand then, but with hindsight, she never stopped paying for the two weeks she spent with Ian. Dietrich von Ansbach deserved what he got."
"But Andrés didn't deserve it."
"You made a call, in a battle situation, given the information you had."
"It was the wrong call."
"And both you and Andrés lived to understand that. Take it as a gift from the universe. It certainly owes you one."
"I don't want to be evil, Dad," he said quietly, and I moved around the table, sat beside him with my back to the table and put my arm around him, letting him lean against me and feeling fiercely protective of him.
"You're not..."
"It's what they want me to be. The Lynx Cult."
"And while I have breath in my body, they'll never succeed."
"But after what I did at the Castle..."
"Think about this. Do you know what the most incredible thing that happened in the Castle was?"
"What?"
"Despite knowing exactly what you'd planned to do, Andrés then put that aside and followed you...first back to Berlin, and then to go and get Rumpel. He fought at your side."
"He said we had common enemies, and I think it suited him to join up with us."
"He could so very easily have considered you to be his enemy. But he didn't. He spoke of you with respect in the guesthouse, and I don't think it was a façade hiding darker feelings underneath. That tells me that you touched something in him...and in Matthew, who really sounds like he pulled his weight and did a good job...and Artur with how did you put it...a gentle air of command you'd never seen before. You bring out the best in people, not the worst."
"Artur came to talk to me...after I tried to kill Andrés. He tried to comfort me."
"I wouldn't have expected any less. He would die for you, as would I. Now tell me, are any of these actions of people who think you're evil?"
"I suppose not."
"I'm not going to let the Lynx win, Armand. I swear that I will make sure you're trained, and that you can protect yourself. And when my knowledge fails, then I'll ask Ian and Adam to help. We'll do what we can to keep you safe...my beautiful, bright child."
I held him for a couple of minutes, no doubt getting strange looks from the other clientele, before I reluctantly let him go, and went back to my own seat to finish pie and ale. The serving wench saw we were finished, and refilled our tankards, before taking away the trenchers.
"Is Adam one of us?" he asked, after she was gone.
"An Adept? Yes. As good as Ian if not better."
"No, Family. You both treat him with respect, like an equal. That isn't always true with non-Family. There's an edge to you both which I see sometimes when you're dealing with...mortals."
"He's my brother. And no he doesn't know, and Ian wants to keep it that way."
"Does he have the right to decide that?"
"He's seen how hard it's been for me. He's seen what's happened with you. He's being protective. Being Family, and knowing that you're Family is as much a curse as it is a blessing."
"You told me everything."
"And we know how well that worked out. He's not going to do that to Adam. Not until he has to."
"How did you find out?"
"Because just like you, I out and out asked my father. But I respect his decision not to say anything."
"Why did you tell me? You didn't have to answer."
"He's someone we need in our lives with no strings attached. I wanted you to know that you could trust him, talk to him about anything. He may not know Ian's his father, but sometime in the aftermath of what happened with the Lynx, Ian told him about Amber, warts and all. He will understand. He's possibly the only other person on Tenterden who does. And he's a good listener, as you already know."
We fell quiet, and drank the second tankard in companionable silence. As I watched, he seemed to gather his strength, and slowly his old self returned. And soon he was the quietly confident soldier who deserved the reward Geran had given him. I just hoped that Dieter confirmed it, at least on Germania.
"How do you feel?" I said.
"Better."
"Ready to go on?"
"I think so."
"Good," I said, getting to my feet once more and throwing some coins on the table, "you can drive."
"I'm not sure I'm ready."
"Yes you are...you just need to have confidence in yourself. Just think of Germania and start walking. You've been there now, so you should be able to visualise it. If you need me to take over, I will, but I think you need to try."
"Okay. I'll give it a go."
I looked at him and smiled, and then we set off down the road in the vague metaphysical direction of Germania, and I felt him begin to make the changes.